Dear Valentine’s Day, 2/14/22
I was recently thinking. You might be the most blatantly commercial, nearly pointless holiday on the Western calendar, but damn, are you good for business. And so I’m finding it really hard to turn you away from my door.
Yes, I’ll admit, you make me look forward to this day every year. I mean, I end up feeling cheap and dirty afterwards, nearly every time, but occasionally, one must forfeit their values and principles to take advantage of a really good deal. Although, I often worry that I forfeit them too cheaply. But that’s the effect you have on me.
I just can’t get over the power you seem to have over the public when it comes to eating out. You come along, and suddenly reservations just start flowing in. And the liquor, my god, the markup on those bottles of wine, it’s glorious! People are compelled beyond all reason and sensibility to splurge!
Look, it hurts me when you leave, but I think it’s for the best. There’s no way that you could continue duping people into that kind of crazy behavior for longer than one day. And so, it would be unhealthy for me, because even though you couldn’t, you would make me believe that this level of business is attainable everyday.
And so that’s all we get. Just one day. One day of lobster, steaks, chocolates, decadent desserts, flowing liquor, high table turnover, and best of all, pricing power on just about every menu item. Just one day of the kind of day that every chef and restaurant owner dreams of: the 6-hour experience of a profit margin just above 5%.
Goodbye, Valentine’s Day. We’ll meet again next year. I’m going to take a shower.